The cops came & my ex-sister fabricated a story of domestic battery. Trying to assert yourself results in anger… Thank you so much for sharng your experience. Consult a professional. Is there a chance that she won’t grow up to be like my sister? She doesn’t brook disappointment, or dissent. My sister, who I believe is a narcissist, DOES have feelings and concerns that are genuine, yes, but they only revolve around topics that are meaningful to her, i.e. I did all the shopping andcooked lovely meals. The last couple of weeks have been extremely stressful for me and have included my sisters emotionally blackmailing pleas to my two sons whom she still wants to attend the wedding although her retort to my refusal of going to the wedding was ” Im glad youre not coming ” . I had a friend who I didn’t talk about my writing with who used to slip in comments about my abilities, such as “I guess it’s not that good, right?” even though they couldn’t possibly know, having never read anything I’d written. I went no contact in 2004 and feel strongly that this was one of the BEST decisions I ever made. While she was there, she tried to lure my Fiance to come collect my animals (my ex-sister knew that sending a 3rd party to the house would be a breach of the restraining order & would be thrown in jail again. They will often want to be assured that you are dedicated to them but won’t offer the same in return. At least I have an understanding brother to confide in and whom I can comfort when he feels the way i do. Take this short 13-question quiz to determine if your partner displays any symptoms of psychopathy, sociopathy, or narcissism. Very well said and written with insight that could only be obtained through experience. I have learned that my sister manifests the same narcissistic qualities and is just as abusive to me verbally and emotionally as my late father was. I decided to go no-contact five years ago – it’s been hard at times because I lost both of my parents (through death) and my sister, her children and their families (by choice) in such a short time. Enter my sister. She even went so far as to selectively edit some old LiveJournal posts I put up years ago, made it sound like I was bashing my parents and others, and sent these edited posts to out parents 10 days before Christmas one year. she already contends the 30,000. dad gave her for a deposit on her house was just a gift and not an advance on the estate – I received nothing….in fact, live in a 28,000. trailer that my mom lent me the down payment for and which I paid back in full. Now she’s manipulated his Daughter in Law, who has now stopped contact with me. what a horrid multigenerational dynamic to pass on. So…I (finally) went to see a therapist who is helping me think through what going No contact with my brother will look like, knowing it will affect the relationship I have with his wife & kids. Like you, I spent my entire life being valued and devalued by my younger sister. A new, interesting person may come along and become the new “status object” in the narcissist’s life. Beat the hell out of me actually. The last time I talked with my niece on the phone she was so rude and well, snotty. Though I lived like Mother Theresa and did all the right things in life, nothing changed. (Yet another lie!). What a thrilling experience…a life of unparalleled freedom and adventure. (That’s the thing about a narcissist, though; they can bring out desperate behavior in people who try to defend against them or have them recognize their wrongdoing. Little did I know, she just came down here to “help herself”. I don’t know what to do. Ugly generational habits repeat themselves, and seem to have become 10x worse with the baby-boomer/generation X set. She would do ‘kind’ things at times, but it was so she could have payback. He has signed the sex offenders register for life and yet she still thinks he is wonderful as he gives her money and calls her his “princess” . This article sure adds weight to the argument to do it. He might be narcissistic. 5. Still have friends scattered around the globe…some moved to the Caribbean (yeah, nice and warm!) I have felt like I was the only one and somehow crazy that my sister and mother had fused together and made it their mission to destroy my life. only this time I recognized what was happening. It was a nightmare. Yes, but only to expect more in exchange, B. In fact, much money could be made working at mining companies located in towns ending in ‘Creek’. They think others should acknowledge just how good they are regardless of whether they’ve ever done anything wrong—which, even if they did, they likely wouldn’t admit unless you “trap” them into admitting it, which can feel pretty confrontational. Symptoms of this disorder include a grandiose sense of self-importance, dreaming of unlimited success and beauty, having a sense of entitlement, and lacking empathy, just to start with. She’ll make sure she will take advantage of every opportunity she can to teach my child to hate or disrespect his mother (Me). My daughter didn’t need presents from them, we live comfortably and she is well taken care of. My pschologist is pleased that I have stood up to her however I still feel bad , but I think this is because for the past 40 years I have bowed down to her dictating behaviourt and this is really the first time that I have stood up for myself. By continuing to browse the site you consent to the use of cookies. My younger sister who gets married in a couple of weeks, has told me , only me and no other guests to her wedding, what I can and cant wear on the day. Neither of them have considered my feelings and what a complete outcast they have made me feel in all of this. My life with my younger sister parallels this almost to the letter. Today I prayed. She continued to abuse me & I kept the peace until my Dad died. I worry about my sister’s daughter. If you aren’t willing to give them this ego fuel, you may notice them turn pretty quickly. A VERY Rickety-Rackkety situation indeed . It has been ten years and I have never regretted it. . Narcissism might seem to be the least scary of the disorder types, as it is often confused with other social behaviors. I realised years ago that was down to him not liking people in the family having skills. I had no idea that by just living my life we were in a constant competition and every good thing that happened to me ( my husband telling her how much he loved me, having three children, one being the girl she craved but never had) was causing a fury to grow inside her that led her to want to destroy my life . By continuing to browse the site you consent to the use of cookies. Everyone was happy and will never forget life in “The Bush” of the Yukon-Alaska territories. Symptoms of this disorder include a grandiose sense of self-importance, dreaming of unlimited success and beauty, having a sense of entitlement, and lacking empathy, just to start with. Things are tense and she feels I’m in the wrong for this. She’s called me at work and all hours of the night to demand an explanation as to why I didn’t call her at a specific moment, and when I once posted up a Bob Marley quote about not judging people, she thought it was directed at her (I just thought it was a cool quote), and sent me a nasty FB message, stating she had every right to judge me, and that I wasn’t a man because I didn’t call her or her children (my nephews) on her schedule. It disgusts me beyond belief and the only thing that I can do is walk away from it all as I now have to protect myself. While screaming and calling me foul names she repeatedly yelled “get the f….off HER property” ( my parents have a large, waterfront estate). Vile woman–so muc more I could say. It was 1975, a special and awareness awakening year for many (as this year is often quoted by others as a renewed sense of ‘other’ (beyond our upbringings, beyond established religion or ‘norms’ at the time). Narcissists tend to have a wildly unrealistic idea of themselves. I have only one sibling who I thought I knew well, but I really I didn’t know her at all. It’s her life she can do what she wants but I should have a say on whether I want my pictures up on her public profile. This seems the time for the major reckoning. In my case the narcissistic sibling is my brother who has also been diagnosed as bipolar. She was Power of Attorney & I was the primary caregiver. That definitely applies in a family context but can also apply to a friendship, where you may realize you’ve sacrificed your values for the narcissist to enact their self-belief of superiority. While I have been very supportive of her during this period following my fathers death due to realizing her very close (emotionally incestuous relationship) with my father, I have discovered she has gone in to the house in my absence to take what she wants. A person might tell you, “I never said that” when you know they did. She lies so much! I had a narcissistic Dad, 2 Sisters & 2 Brothers to contend with. Also be prepared, if you try to say something to them, they may attack back. It’s important to plan. I totally relate. A year later, we are in a nasty lawsuit. I have told her that I wish her a happy life but I shall not be attending her wedding now. She forced me to do her jobs by threatening violence, so i had mega kitchen chores aged 7 yrs old. Once you’ve determined your boundaries and what needs to happen to feel safe, it’s also important to stick to it. She had moved on to fetish modelling and has become so self obsessed, spends hours in front of the mirror, constantly on whether phone and Facebook and is poor company. I went no contact with my entire birth family after that. But, I was finally able to see the real person she was and is, an evil, vile, disturbed individual that is extremely dangerous. Similarly, if you criticize them, they might fly off the handle and doubt your authority, belittle you, or suggest they are more expert, capable, and ultimately superior to you—all to support their claim that you have no right to criticize them rather than truly processing their emotions. I chose to focus on hr,oing my father be as co fortable as possibke and kill them with kindness. As her prince was dying, she needed a new rescuer. It can be hard to pinpoint this quality. They will want to protect their fantasy image of themselves. It can be complicated: You may have to weigh whether you are really not giving the person the time they deserve or whether they are demanding undue attention out of jealousy.