A cement mixer and a prison bus crashed on the highway. If it’s a complete tip, you’re taking on too much or depressed; if someone else has to keep it clean for you, it’s too big or you’re too busy.” A place for us to share our love for Norwex, ask questions and share tips! They have just lost their bull. Incorrect email or username/password combination. 18 Adorable Mini Dessert Pies That Beat Full-Size Pies for the Holidays, The 26 Best Online Games to Play With Friends While Social Distancing. Cleanliness is next to godliness, and some people do the same by their religion.”, “Clean up a pigsty," she commented one evening, "and if the creatures in it still have pig-minds and pig-desires, soon it will be the same old pigsty again.”, “To keep the air fresh among words is the secret of verbal cleanliness.”, “Cleanliness', chuckled Sir Benjamin, noting his great niece's delighted smile as her eyes rested upon him, 'comes next to godliness, eh, Maria?”, “Though outwardly Kristina maintained that a clean room was a symptom of a diseased mind (for how could she, while studying the world's greatest thinkers, be bothered with such mundane earthly issues as cleaning? Where should you go in the room if you’re feeling cold? Usually refers to activities that are rated for all audiences and does not involve any of the following: sex, drugs, alcohol We need a clean industrial revolution. No. What's the difference between a hippo and a Zippo? !”Johnny: “Because I’ve already got a freaking cat!”, Kid 1: “Hey, I bet you’re still a virgin.” Kid 2: “Yeah, I was a virgin until last night .” Kid 1: “As if.” Kid 2: “Yeah, just ask your sister.” Kid 1: “I don’t have a sister.” Kid 2: “You will in about nine months.”, Reaching the end of a job interview, the Human Resources Officer asks a young engineer fresh out of the Massachusetts Institute of Technology, “And what starting salary are you looking for?”, The engineer replies, “In the region of $125,000 a year, depending on the benefits package.”, The interviewer inquires, “Well, what would you say to a package of five weeks vacation, 14 paid holidays, full medical and dental, company matching retirement fund to 50% of salary, and a company car leased every two years, say, a red Corvette?”, The engineer sits up straight and says, “Wow! A woman gets on a bus with her baby. For now, it was easier to do something useful with her hands. Someone stole my mood ring yesterday. She needed a plan. The world sneers at them, and when men look at them they see a deformed Christian and are repelled.”, “Man is neither totally an individual being, nor totally a social animal. Soap often contains a drying surfactant called sodium lauryl sulfate, which can leave a film on your skin that feels uncomfortable, strip it of essential oils, and deplete moisture. As a scarecrow, people say I’m outstanding in my field. It could keep her busy again for another few hours.”, “It is true that clutter cleaning helps us release mental energy that makes us feel better. Discover and share Clean Funny Quotes And Sayings. In humility, he strips off all dignity and return as-was-born for natural cleaning.”, “A mass of mixed-up jumbled, unlike objects is clutter. 50 Fun-Filled Thanksgiving Activities for Kids That’ll Make Turkey Day Even More Exciting, Plucking Beautiful! A wife comes home late one night and quietly opens the door to her bedroom. I don’t know, but the flag is a big plus. Is this pool safe for diving? Did you hear about the cheese factory that exploded in France? 46. But when I got home, the signs were all there. Never mind, it really stinks. Which rock group has four guys who can't sing or play instruments? What did one elevator say to the other? No, you clean the water. The women need to buy another, but only have $500. 60. Does Your Vote Count? Put it on my bill. Because he's a pain in the neck. How many tickles does it take to get an octopus to laugh? We wash our hands and leave our souls untouched. What time does a duck wake up? My wife accused me the other day of being too immature. Because he always has a great fall. Let's not hold them. But we can’t wash the dishes 10,000 times unless we start by washing them once. Explore 1000 Clean Quotes by authors including John Muir, Johann Wolfgang von Goethe, and George Bernard Shaw at BrainyQuote. The visionary starts with a clean sheet of paper, and re-imagines the world. What did the nose say to the finger? It helps build a stronger bond, study finds. Why does a chicken coop only have two doors? Mount Rushmore. The funniest clean joke ever is at the end of this page. Then check out 23 Little Johnny Jokes or 30 One Liner Jokes. Why were they called the “dark ages?”. Alternatively, check out 15 Knock Knock Jokes. Yes. I've been very passionate about renewable energy for many years, particularly solar energy and its capacity to bring abundant clean, sustainable energy to millions around the globe. Ten-tickles. 1. A meowntain. Luckily, I've been clean for five years. 76. As she enters, she sees her husband there, reading a magazine. Finally, she tells the telegraph operator to send the word “comfortable.” Skeptical, the operator asks, “How will she know to come with the trailer from just that word?” The redhead replies, “She’s a blonde so she reads slow: ‘Come for ta bull.'”. Welcome to our clean joke gallery. Princesses have dynastic and domestic pressures, and they get parked on glass hills. The Meat Ball! Voting is our right, but it is also our responsibility because if we don't take the next step and elect leaders who are committed to building a better future for our kids, other rights - our rights to clean air, clean water, health, and prosperity - are placed directly in harm's way. They must not like fast food. How does NASA organize a party?They planet. From the best clean jokes for adults to clean jokes of the day, this big list has something for everyone, so you can feel good about busting out these hilarious SFW funnies, no matter who it is you’re talking to—from your grandma to your coworker. They don’t have the right koala-fications. Even worse, drying your skin can increase the appearance of wrinkles.”, Cleaning House: A Mom's Twelve-Month Experiment to Rid Her Home of Youth Entitlement, Bird by Bird: Some Instructions on Writing and Life, Weighty 'n' Worthy African Proverbs - Volume 1, Clean Up Your Home To Clean Up Your Life & Say Hello To Aromatherapy: Restore Your Sanctuary, Regain Your Peace, Ignite Your Senses, The Life-Changing Manga of Tidying Up: A Magical Story, Perfectly Ordinary: Buddhist Teachings for Everyday Life, The Age Fix: A Leading Plastic Surgeon Reveals How to Really Look 10 Years Younger. I used to be addicted to not showering. Because he Neverlands. They don't have the right koalafications. It's perfect when it arrives and it puts itself in our hands. Pursuant to U.S. Did you hear about the fire at the circus? What water is there for us to clean ourselves? He ate the pizza before it was cool. 37. Are you kidding?”, The interviewer replies, “Yeah, but you started it.”. good clean fun definition in English dictionary, good clean fun meaning, synonyms, see also 'good and',as good as',common good',come good'. History's crème de la crème of agency-produced comedy. After a natural disaster, safe drinking water is a priority. It burns it all clean. What is the best day to go to the beach? Thanks for signing up! 98. Why was the tomato red? If you want to have clean ideas, change them as often as your shirt. In limits, there is freedom. And we have killed him. Within five minutes three squad cars, an Armed Response unit, and an ambulance showed up. They argued back and forth, then they stopped for lunch. You know why you never see elephants hiding up in trees? So, I cleaned up my system. Many ladies spend hours and hours on the cleaning of the house. Have you heard the one about the skunk? Your boyfriend has probably had this dream. Tomorrow's not promised. Cleaning of the house is a must-do thing. What happened when a faucet, a tomato, and some lettuce ran a race together? For skincare, I'm a Clean and Clear girl. conditions of our, Your use of this website constitutes and manifests your acceptance 34. No one else cares. What never asks questions but receives a lot of answers? Then he hung up. Right now I just want to chill for a while. You look flushed. What did the Buddhist ask the hot dog vendor? We clean our clothes and wear them over our unclean hearts. The next time you've got an audience to impress, these funny clean jokes are sure to have everyone cracking up. Attempted murder. What’s the best thing about Switzerland? Why didn’t the skeleton go to the dance? Mind Your Own Business began looking for his brother behind garbage cans and bushes. The man walks into a lawyer’s office and asks: “How much do you charge?”, The lawyer responds: “I charge $1,000 to answer three questions.”, A child asked his father, “How were people born?” So his father said, “Adam and Eve made babies, then their babies became adults and made babies, and so on.”, The child then went to his mother, asked her the same question and she told him, “We were monkeys then we evolved to become like we are now.”, The child ran back to his father and said, “You lied to me!” His father replied, “No, your mom was talking about her side of the family.”, 11 I once gave my husband the silent treatment for an entire week, at the end of which he declared, “Hey, we’re getting along pretty great lately!”. Enjoyed these clean jokes and puns? By Lauren Smith McDonough and Amina Lake Abdelrahman, Good … Fun shouldn’t be always dirty . “So, we have a paradox where washing the dishes one time is seemingly unimportant. Don't call the world dirty because you forgot to clean your glasses. Then he started looking in and under cars until a police man approached him and asked, “What are you doing?”. © 2020 Galvanized Media. Why doesn’t Dracula have any friends? Please check your email to confirm your subscription. 51. The monkeys on the bottom look up and see nothing but assholes. The Empire State Building can’t jump.