Not because she will love them but to use them as narcissistic supplies that … Learn more >>. They are in touch with the loveliness of their bodies, the exquisite beauty of their minds and psyches and the vast depth of their souls. The daughter who dares to think for herself or who moves toward psychological individuation is heavily criticized, labeled as a rebel and striped of any meaningful role in the family. Daughters of Narcissistic Mothers – A Painful Psychological Legacy. Narcissistic mothers sabotage their daughters’ efforts to become separate productive individuals. The chosen child can do no wrong. Daughters of Narcissistic Mothers – A Painful Psychological Legacy By Linda Martinez-Lewi Ph.D. As horribly as they were treated, some daughters spend their lives forming dysfunctional relationships with men who resemble their narcissistic mothers. She has extensive clinical training in narcissistic and borderline disorders and is the author of the book Freeing Yourself From the Narcissist in Your Life. She will choose one child as the special one. Daughters of narcissistic mothers can heal … They would discover flaws in the perfect daughter. This becomes particularly pointed as her child moves into adolescence. These individuals are completely self absorbed, cold, manipulative, deceitful, exploitative, and lacking in the slightest portion of human empathy. Narcissistic mothers are never satisfied. We know these daughters, even though their secrets of maternal deprivation and abuse are well camouflaged behind shining faces, glowing grades and strong professional portfolios. If you watched what you ate, you could be attractive like she is.” Narcissistic mothers are relentlessly cruel and critical. Mar 9. coromi52 . After one especially difficult day… By Linda Martinez-Lewi Ph.D. Some daughters become highly rebellious, act out with drugs, alcohol or sex and leave the family prematurely. She feels a gnawing envy in her gut to compete with her daughter. The narcissistic mother is envious of her daughter on every level. If you run across a funny or informative video, article, etc., about the mother and daughter relationship, feel free to send it along to us for inclusion on Motherrr.com. The chosen child is the perfect incarnation of the mother. There are daughters of narcissistic mothers who have barely survived psychologically. I promise you, if your whispered doubts are right, and you are the daughter of a narcissistic mother, then the other side of this possibly painful journey is greater freedom and peace than you can even imagine. She will choose one child as the special one. The narcissistic mother frequently causes powerful and damaging psychological rifts between her children. Narcissistic mothers sabotage their daughters' efforts to become separate productive individuals. Now, they feel authentic—fully alive. In the extreme, there are daughters who starved themselves to death by anorexia as the only way they could find to salvage some small crumb of their existence. They learn to block their strong emotions and dance to their mothers’ tune to save themselves. There are no outward signs of the abuse, and when the child tries to make sense of what is going on, narcissistic mothers will … The mother undermines her child, telling her a series of lies that shake her daughter’s confidence in her feminine identity. Your friend Sandra is nice and thin. In the extreme, there are daughters who starved themselves to death by anorexia as the only way they could find to salvage some small crumb of their existence. Narcissistic mothers sabotage their daughters efforts to become separate productive individuals. The narcissistic mother takes full credit for her daughter’s achievements at the same time that she constantly criticizes and demeans her child for using initiative or having creative ideas. Visit her website at: www.thenarcissistinyourlife.com, Article Source: Daughters of Narcissistic Mothers – A Painful Psychological Legacy, We are Barb and Laurie, and we are daughters…that explains it all. All Rights Reserved. There are daughters of narcissistic mothers who have barely survived psychologically. The mother undermines her child, telling her a series of lies that shake her daughter’s confidence in her feminine identity. On the other side of the cauldron of transformation, daughters of narcissistic mothers are born for a second time. Often this is a child who is particularly attractive physically, highly intelligent, or displays artistic or musical talent. The sensitive daughter or the one who’s become the mother’s scapegoat may be so afraid of becoming a narcissist that she dodges the limelight and hides in the shadows, rendering herself voiceless. Most daughters of narcissistic mothers survive this malignant abuse. Trapped from early childhood, they are victims of a mother who was incapable of loving them. The narcissistic mother chooses another child as the loser. They learn to block their strong emotions and dance to their mothers’ tune to save themselves. Daughters of narcissistic mothers can heal through the work of psychotherapy. The hypnotic hold a narcissistic mother has on her daughter can be so strong and pathological that the child doesn’t know what she is thinking or feeling. The narcissistic mother is ruler of her children and her spouse. All rights reserved by Jazz Hands Productions, LLC. The chosen child is the perfect incarnation of the mother. Now, they feel authentic—fully alive. Her coldness and lack of empathy affect her child from the beginning. This daughter becomes the target and reservoir for the narcissistic mother’s expression of her unconscious feelings of self hatred and worthlessness.